Recently I learned to paint. I have been painting for years. Both true statements. For years I have dabbled in watercolurs, usually over pencil sketches and found it a pleasurable, though occasionally trying, experience. Then I was challenged to paint in front of an audience and "decided" to work in acrylic with no pre-drawing. I have often described drawing as being like breathing. If I neglect to do it, it's not healthy but when I do it it is natural and comfortable. Painting in acrylic was like trying to breath while drowning or having a panic attack. I had something I needed to get out urgently before I lost the ability, the vision.
Beliefs of this kind are strange things, superstitions really. It's only when you state them to another person you realise how foolish they are. That's what happened to me. I said out loud about "breathing while drowning" and thought "it doesn't have to be like this". So today both my lovely children were at school all day and I decided to work on some paintings calmly. It was a pleasurable experience. I enjoyed it. I have three paintings in various states of completion and no sense of panic about them. I like it.
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