Wednesday, April 12, 2006

bottoming out

I think I'm bottoming out. 3 Weeks of crap have worn me down, my mood's foul and my health is poor. The one thing that can lift me up quickly is an all night drawing binge with Van Morrison on the Stereo. Not easy to do with a wife, child and responsibilities outside of yourself though. I once described the all night drawing session as the closest I can get to God. Once you pass the tiredness barrier and you keep working you achieve a.... I don't know what to call it. Is it a Zen experience where you connect with a higher conciousness, you become the pencil, the paper, the thought, the image in your head and the music helps you get there? It's probably the only thing I miss from before I was married. It's a feeling of pure creativity without doubts and other thoughts getting in the way.

On the positive side, it's Easter weekend so that means 4 days off work and chocolate, Karen will have finished her latest module on her Masters so we'll be able to get the house back together and I can actually get back on the computer. May even fit some drawing in.

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